A Sufi's Call

 

Know my Friend, 

that which is called by the lover,

is nothing but the Beloved calling back;

Oh, I know it sounds like your own voice,

but listen more carefully!

A Betrothed Moth

 

Who am I right now oh Flame? 

A betrothed moth!

A Lover who once thought he knew who he was,

melted by thy heat, and lost to any self that was.

There is an emptiness in this state, like being hollowed out

with no solid sense of self upon which walk.

Waiting in this state is not romantic,

like the poetry books say -

Being nothing, but not yet enough of nothing

to be One.

 

So I am waiting,

Betrothed at flame's door,

for love

to finish the job of

Consuming what's left.

 

Waiting to become A moth, after the flame.

Me Leaving Me

 

Me Leaving Me Part 1:  Gone

Quietly, so quietly, something left last night

It must have climbed out that hole I’ve been digging

for years now

in the ground of ego.

It was quiet, I heard nothing,

like water evaporating,

or shadows dissolving in sunlight.

Where it went I don’t much care,

but this does explain that

strange feeling of absence and disorientation.

 

Me Leaving Me – Part 2:  Because I am not here anymore

It’s weird,

I can’t move anymore, I can’t think anymore

I still try, but

its hollow, empty,

feeble, like after a stroke.

I guess I’m going to have to rely on YOU Beloved to help me,

I Hope you love me that much.

Fortunately, breath still moves, ever constant,

I will pay attention to that, like an embrace beyond mortality;

I ask myself: “so what are you going to do now that you’re gone?”

I answer: “I think I’ll just be still and listen more intently.”

Maybe I will finally relax, and

surrenderer to your embrace,

and let YOU

move me.

 

Me Leaving Me Part 3:  I am lost

Now I must cling to you for my very life Beloved,

I pray, "guide me on the path of thine own goodness,

Use me for the purpose that thy wisdom chooseth".

 

Me Leaving Me Part 4:  What’s Next

I hope this leaving frees me

from the cataracts and blindness

and adds some sense of freedom.

I won’t ask it though, I’ll just let it show me, if it will.

I can’t go back, I don’t want to go back,

To what I was,

even though I could, because

the thread is still there.

But I can’t quite go forward either, like I used too,

in the ways I knew so well,

using my own initiative - because that left too!

I need new behaviors, call it

Surrendered Being

To think without me doing the thinking

To speak without me doing the speaking

To move without me doing the moving

Ah, but such Faith is required …  

Blind Reunion - Call and I will Answer

 

It’s a mystery, 

This Reunion with the Beloved.

We don’t have to know her, 

we just have to long for her.

Then when we call her name,

She can hear us and will come!

As it is said: “Call and I Will answer!”

In The End

In the end,

When we are given eyes of clear sight,

                                    We will be judged;

Not by some lofty God,

                                    By our own conscience.

Here, it may seem forgiveness 

is not close by,

            But she will come, 

                                   if she sees you crying,

             to dry your tears.

 

Hey, I have an idea, 

Why not cry now,

Cry hard,

Feel your soul shaking

                For all you’ve loved,

                                            and lost and harmed;             

Did you know, 

    you can dry these tears, 

                        with your own forgiveness?

But who would think that forgiving ourself,

                is harder than forgiving another!

To dry these tears, 

                    The sleeve of a robe filled with a broken heart

Seems to work best! 

Now, if you have consider all this,

I think you will find, that in the end    

            You will not be judged,

                     You will be loved.

  And love is stronger than death!

Brave Enough

There are times
when I’m trying to become whole
            and feel brave enough
                        to allow the door
                                    of love’s pain to open,
and watch
            what comes out.

 Something always comes,
            one way or another
filling me with guilt,
            or the loss of things I can’t repair,
                            or change,
                                         or fix.

It shreds my heart, and
                        almost takes away
the desire to live;
                        almost,
                            but not quite.
 
So, I stand with it
                        face to face,
Brave enough to not run
                 I ask it
                        what can I do for you?
It answers:
            accept me
                and I will accept you.

Yearning

"There is some kiss we want with our whole lives" - Rumi

You think you yearn

                         for things you don’t have,

When

         In reality

                       You yearn for something you already possess

                                                                     but have forgotten.

Rumi says go ahead and yearn, 

            As hard as you can, yearn

                           As if your LIFE depended on it.

Finally, you will be exhausted,

              so tired you can't even think of yearning.  

Then, in that stillness 

                                  behind yearning

                                                          something gives up: 

The pain of separation

                                    from that 

                                                  which we yearn.

Funny how 

                   no one ever sees 

                                            yearning as a veil

                                                                    hiding 

                            That Kiss we want with our whole lives.