Me Leaving Me
Me Leaving Me Part 1: Gone.
Quietly, so quietly, something left last
night
It must have climbed out that
hole I’ve been digging
for years now
in the ground of ego.
It was quiet, I heard nothing,
like water evaporating,
or shadows dissolving in sunlight.
Where it went I don’t much care,
but this does explain that
strange feeling of absence and disorientation.
Me Leaving Me – Part 2: Because I am not here anymore.
It’s weird,
I can’t move anymore, I can’t think
anymore
I still try, but
its hollow, empty,
feeble, like after a stroke.
I guess I’m going to have to rely on YOU
Beloved to help me,
I Hope you love me that much.
Fortunately, breath still moves, ever
constant,
I will pay attention to that, like an
embrace beyond mortality;
I ask myself: “so what are you going to
do now that you’re gone?”
I answer: “I think I’ll just be still
and listen more intently.”
Maybe I will finally relax, and
surrenderer to your embrace,
and let YOU
move me.
Me Leaving Me Part 3: I am lost.
Now I must cling to you for my very life
Beloved,
I pray, "guide me on the path of thine
own goodness,
Use me for the purpose that thy wisdom
chooseth".
Me Leaving Me Part 4: What’s Next?
I hope this leaving frees me
from the cataracts and
blindness
and adds some sense of freedom.
I won’t ask it though, I’ll just let it
show me, if it will.
I can’t go back, I don’t want to go
back,
To what I was,
even though I could, because
the thread is still there.
But I can’t quite go forward either,
like I used too,
in the ways I knew so well,
using my own initiative -
because that left too!
I need new behaviors, call it
Surrendered Being
To think without me doing the thinking
To speak without me doing the speaking
To move without me doing the moving
Ah, but such Faith is required …
